Hold the Pineapple

Fallout: Equestria – Hold the Pineapple (Audio Files) is the 3rd official part of the Audio Files Series written by ComicSansPony. It has 11 audio logs (counting the unusual Audio Log #000 and Audio Log #010.5) and has 5,403 words. It abandons the previous plot thread of involving Screwloose and Shoeshine. Instead it focuses on a wartime pony named Pineapple Calzone, a reluctant member of the mysterious Calzone Crime Family, as he goes states evidence on the family.

This fic is part of the Audio Files Series.

Fallout: Equestria – Hold the Pineapple (Audio Files)
Author ComicSansPony
Publication date January 10th, 2018
Published by fimfiction
Publication Order
Preceded by
Brittleshine's Quest Audio Files
Followed by


Pineapple Calzone never wanted to be in a crime family. He had the misfortune of marrying into it. At first he went along with them out of fear, until they did something beyond the pale: give the Zebras Megaspells. Finally willing to go to the MoM he contacts his second cousin, twice removed, Pumpkin Cake. With her help he begins to collect evidence on his shady in-laws...possibly at the cost of his own life.


Prewar Manehatten.


Main Character

  • Pineapple Calzone – Formally Pineapple Upside-Down Cake is a Reluctant member of the mysterious Calzone Crime Family who is going States evidence on his shady in-laws.

Other Characters

  • Higgs – mysterious pony whom Pineapple meets after his boating accident. Likely knows more then he lets on. Hinted at being the same Higgs from the rest of the Audio Files Series.

MoM Ponies

  • Pumpkin Cake – Pineapple's second cousin, twice removed. Revealed to actually be a residual personality comprised of the memories borrowed from the real Pumpkin Cake for the Pineapple Calzone persona. Might have manifested as a coping mechanism.

Calzones Crime Family (non-antagonists)

  • Veggie Calzone – Pineapple's wife and daughter of Three Cheese Calzone
  • Pepperoni Calzone – Three Cheese's nefew who works for EAST Corp.
  • Linguine – bug scanner pony
  • Ravioli – bug scanner pony
  • Vial – a fixer of the Calzones. Only mentioned, doesn't show up in the story. He is in the Epilogue.

Wasteland Ponies (Epilogue only)

  • Binary Bit – Former resident of Recurrence who got intrigued by the Calzones and sought to uncover their secrets.
  • Spicy Meatball – Sentinel robot formally owned by the Calzones, now owned by Binary Bit.

Eighty-Sixers (Epilogue only)

  • Turing Test – Tech expert member of the Eighty-Sixers.


  • Eighty-Six – A mysterious shapeshifting assassin working for the the Calzones. Revealed to be the same pony as Pineapple Calzone.
  • Three Cheese Calzone – The head of the Calzone Crime Family.
  • Dr. Proselytize – MoP Psychiatrist who is also a member of the Calzone Crime Family.

Shares Canon with

Fallout: Equestria - Unscrewed Audio Files

Fallout: Equestria - Brittleshine's Quest Audio Files

Fallout: Equestria

Fallout: Equestria - Project Horizons

Fallout: Equestria - The Ditzy Doo Chronicles

Fallout Equestria: Duty

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